12.5.10
over the years..
kinda lost myself for the past few days...dunno whether is it coz my da yi ma has been missing for months..or was it jus me..
gt damn emo tat day..cried for nothing..seriously nothing..when my hse mates ask me wat was it..i couldnt ans..i jus felt like crying..tears jus keep rolling down my eyes..did i menton i lost my temper tat 2 days..? tat day i didnt had a gd slp..slpt at 5..hse mates woke up at 10..than kept talking tat i woke up..in da evening..i tried to slp..than they keep asking me go gym which i refuse to..after which when they got back..they on da tv n was chatting n laughing quite loudly..i keep telling myself hw i can tell them tat i was disturbed..? so i jus went to da kitchen n tried my best to sound easy..but i tink it didnt work..coz they kinda silence down..haiz..nvm..another incident..i also dunno wat got into me..i cooked scramble egg..than i tot i was only cooking for me n boss...but end up they all tot was share except me..so it kinda make me look selfish..so i was kinda work up tat i got up from da chair abruptly n say i go cook again..n i tink they were kinda taken aback by it..
wat is wrong w me..? tired..?? emotional stress..?? oh perhaps i jus couldnt get use to being my rm mate getting closer w my other hse mate tat it seems tat im losing my fren..??
another 1..oh..i tink i say only 2..but here's another small incident..during da first bball match again in ni..i was kinda pull by opponent to make it like i charge her n was blown foul..i even gt scratch by her for tis..i got so mad tat i was scolding all da bad ass hokkian words...=X
i jus need to know tis ppl..over da yrs..did i change for da better..?? worst..?? or same..?? being temper wise..character wise...i try to be better..but i always seems to be da petty one..need to change...!!! haiz..shall try to stop holding grudges for a start..can i do it..??
Posted by dotsux at 5/12/2010 07:03:00 pm